My Moral Dilema

First, I'm not even sure of how to spell dilema so how can I possibly be having one?

Anyway...

Here's the deal.

Today while shopping, I found something. I found a cell phone. What's the problem? Well, I'm not sure I want to track down it's owner and return it.

On one hand, there's the morally good side of me who thinks, "This poor girl has lost her phone and if she's anything like me, she's lost without it. Cell phones are expensive and she'll have to replace it if I don't return it. I would want someone to try and return my phone to me if I lost it."

On the other hand, there's the selfish evil side of me who thinks, "She's a college student from Kansas City. Her parents are probably loaded. Her text messages indicate she's a total pot head. She's thinking about studing abroad (according to her contacts). And she's has some really gross pictures on her phone. Not to mention that she's probably a bitch and won't give a flying fuck if I have to go out of my way to return her phone. Plus, two days after I give her phone back, I'll probably lose my phone because that would be the perfect joke for the evil miniture pixies that control my life."

So, do I go out of my way to try and call up perfect strangers on her phone to see if there is some way that I can track her down and arrange to give her the phone back. Or do I just stuff the phone in the back of my closet for a rainy day? After all, it does have a mp3 player and a nice camera. I could use it! Hmmmmm.... that's a tough one!

Let me know what you think.

The Moral Dilema

To be honest or not?

On one hand I could say, "Those are the ugliest pants I've ever seen and it drives me nuts everytime you wear them!"

On the other hand, I like my friend and she likes her pants and I wouldn't hurt her feelings like that.

On one hand I could say, "You know, if you're going to schedule a maintence check at least show up on the day that you schedule it. It really annoys me that I have to continue to wear all my clothing (including a bra) for an extra four hours, only to find that it is getting late & I have been stood up!!"
On the other hand, I like my housing director & my maintence guy. I like having things fixed in my apartment. I like that they like me & therefore don't cause me any undue grief over minor things.


On one hand I could say, "To hell with you people! You're all a bunch of childish assholes and I can't believe that I am actually related to you shitheads! Grow the F#$% UP!!"
On the other hand, I love my family and 90% of the time we have a pretty good time when we all get together.


So you see, I have this moral dilema. On one hand there is this "generally" honest person who doesn't usually have a problem speaking her mind. On the other hand, being 100% honest 100% of the time could make my life very miserable in the long run.


In my next life I want to be a mayfly. No moral dilema's there. You're born, you get laid, you have a kid, you die... all in a matter of days! No time for drama, moral dilemas or contemplating how to be the "better" mayfly. Just mind-boggling, die happy, SEX!

How Much Do You Recall?

Okay, so for some reason my mother is currently asking what the 10 commandments are. I picture she is forming some rancidly hilarious blog about her Anti-Christian views that will probably make me pee myself. But before I go and read what she writes I thought I would tell you how hard it is to come up with the 10 commandments from memory if you haven't set foot in a church since you were say 10.

This is what I came up with:

1- Don't kill stupid people (maim, just don't kill!)
2- Don't tell any lies
3- Don't say naughty words or call God bad names
4- Don't cheat on your spouse
5- Don't steal
6- Don't wish you had other people's shit
7- Don't claim to have any other invisible men in the sky
8- Love & honor the idiots that brought you into this world
9- Don't work on Sunday
and
10-

Well SHIT!

The truth is that I forgot what the last one is, but considering I've already broken 8 of the above mentioned rules, I'm pretty well screwed!

However, I am giving myself a 90% on the DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID WRONG? TEST, which means I get and A-

So yes, I'll be getting a one-way ticket straight to Hell, but on the plus side, I won't have any problems making the Dean's List. Mom will be SO PROUD!!!