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Monday, March 3, 2008

What you never needed to know about me.

What's in your wallet?

  • Check for $16 for Friday' lunch
  • three $5 bills and a $1 bill
  • a deposit and withdrawl slip from the bank
  • daughter's vaccination records
  • driver's license
  • health insurance card
  • hunter education card
  • AAA card
  • expired coupons for IHOP
  • 2 ticket stubs from "Sweeney Todd" on my birthday, and the ticket stub from "The Bucket List" I went to with Brenda.
  • 2 credit cards
  • Walgreens giftcard
  • Walmart gift card
  • McDonald's Arch card
  • Appointment card for my eye doctors visit
  • Appointment card for Ellie and I's appointments in May
  • 2 Walmart gift cards in an envelope (I think they're empty)
  • a Sears Smile Saver card
  • my Borders Rewards card.

Didn't think you could get that much stuff into a tiny little wallet did you? Think that's impressive? Try this on on for size.

What's in your purse?

  • my wallet
  • feminine product
  • a red lip gloss
  • night lipstick "shimmer & shout"
  • day lipstick "marquise peach"
  • satin lips lip balm
  • purell hand towels
  • relative's mailing address torn off of Christmas card
  • Sunlasses
  • lens cleaning cloth
  • Walgreens gift card
  • Banker's business card
  • Tylenol
  • TUMS
  • Eyeglass cleaner and another cloth
  • toothbrush
  • toothpaste
  • three ink pens: red, blue & black
  • color ink carteridge
  • $2.22 in loose change
  • Mini road Atlas
  • Envelope full of soup labels and box tops to mail to Michigan
  • Reciept for auto tags
  • Hunam Chinese Resteraunt menu and Friday's lunch order
  • Expired auto registration (new ones are in the cars)
  • Large piece of black felt (no idea?)
  • 10 oz. bottle of water
  • Kleenex pack
  • Receipts and deposit slips dating back to October
  • binder clip holding receipts
  • Expired Sears coupon
  • Application for savings account
  • Work keys with work ID
  • Car/house keys
  • Cell phone
What's under your bed?
  • Carpet
What's in your underwear drawer?
  • Underwear
What's in the trunk of your car?
  • The bodies of all the people who snooped in the trunk of my car.
What is the most embarassing thing in your room right now?
  • Underwear and a burned out lightbulb (that'll make you wonder)
If I confinscate your computer and look around, what would I find?
  • Naked pictures from my webcam (is she joking?)
Do you sleep with anything?
  • A pillow, a blanket and preferably no one else in the room!
What is your midnight snack weakness?
  • French fries, tater tots, or anything fried and generally bad for your health/
Have you ever stollen anything?
  • I cannot answer that question for fear of incriminating myself. However, it would not surprise me if several of the ashtrays in my home were originally located in resteraunts and hotels. It also would not surprise me if some of the clothes my friends have given me magically walked out of the stores without being paid for (just knowing my friends and the magical power they have over items). It also would not surprise me if some of the items I recieved when I was younger were never actually purchased by those people who gave them to me. Oh, and there was that incident with the golf cart, but I'd consider it "borrowing with intent to return." Unfortunately , the best of INTENTIONS went to hell in a handbag.
Have you ever vandalized anything?
  • A doll. Does that count? I think she's cute, but Mom's calls her "Satan child". I don't think I ever damage anyone else's property. I sure messed up some of mine though. Oh wait... I tore up my neighbors lawn in huge patches when I was 8. Then we laid the grass down on top of the lawn so they couldn't tell until it turned brown. Why would a 9-year-old do this? Because the bitch sat in her picture window and watched a dog kill my pet rabbit. When it was all over she came over to tell us she saw the whole thing. I loved my rabbit, she loved her lawn. Seemed fair to me.
Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
  • Depends... I've only danced with a handful of guys, but it wouldn't surprise me if one of them was the devil.
What do you wait until no one is looking to do?
  • Wipe my ass. No seriously, you can be in the room while I shit, but I need privacy to wipe. Was that too much? Sorry. Oh, and brushing my teeth... get out of the bthroom while I brush my teeth!
Have you told the truth in this survey?
  • That is for me to know and you to wonder about.

Ranting by Ellie's Mommie at 9:05 AM

3 comments:

Sunshine said...

I think you were a homeless bag lady in a former life, that's a lot of shit!

March 3, 2008 at 1:10 PM
Ellie's Mommie said...

lmao@homeless bag lady!

I have to admit that even I was shocked at everything in my purse! It's not even that big of a purse. It's just a little cargo purse. Sometimes I even have a diaper and a baby toy in there!

Who needs to push a grocery cart around when you can carry that much shit in your purse.

March 3, 2008 at 6:14 PM
Anonymous said...

I'd hate to even look in my purse..things in there say "get out" mom mie

March 4, 2008 at 7:53 PM

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