OH! She DID NOT!!

Okay, it is SOOOO on!!

Have you seen what my mother called me? A back-stabbing, game-cheating, whore!!

THIS MEANS WAR WOMAN!!

Prim and proper woman my ass!! I have the pictures to PROVE how uncivilized that woman can be!! Seriously, the whole internet community has been privy to her panty-fetish so who does she think she's kidding?

She swears that she has no recollection of hi-jacking a jelly bean truck, but I still have the proof.

Then she claims that she would never do anything as horrible as BBQing Barbie Dolls? What a load of shit! Have you seen what she does to sheep? And turkeys? And my co-worker?

I think her guilty conscience got the better of her when it came to the Troll though. I never once mentioned that foul play may have been involved in that incident. Investigators claimed he suffered from Naked-Barbie-Overdose (not BBQing).

Of course my Mother denies having anything to do with the alcohol I.V. as well. By her own confession, she not only drinks too much, but refuses to attend meetings.

Her claims to be a "classy and uptown woman" are all but laughable!

No doubt her amnesia was caused by a combination of too much Mike's Hard Lemonade and Pain Killers!

How's that for BACK-STABBING? You like that? Yeah!!

As far as Game-Cheating? Well, I cannot deny it. I've already confessed (and laughed hysterically over the matter)!

And Whore? Last I checked that wasn't a crime in this family!!

So take that you SHEEP-SHOOTING, GAME-CHEATING, DRUNKEN, PAGAN TRAMP!!