Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you are dislexic, press 69696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Friday, September 28, 2007


So lets see if you can really blog from your email or if this is something stupid that will make monkeys fly out my ass when I push send.

Be a better Globetrotter. Get better travel answers from someone who knows.
Yahoo! Answers - Check it out.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Dear Grandma

Thank you so much for coming to visit us here in Kansas. We love you so very much and are very happy that you got to come see us. I really love the mobile and the baby monitor that you got for me and all the cool books will be fun to read with Mommy and Daddy.

I'm sorry you didn't get to see much of Daddy because he was working, but I hope you know that he was glad you got to come down and he appreciates everything you did while you were here.

I'm trying to be a good girl today because I know that Mommy isn't feeling very well. She took some medicine and squirted junk in her throat to make it stop hurting, now she's feeling so-so. I had some more of my cereal this morning and I loved it.

I hope you had a good drive home and tell Grandpa I miss him and love him much. Thank Grandpa for everything also and tell him we hope he can come down next time.

Well, I better go now and go take care of Mommy. She's sleepy and keeps getting woke up from her nap. Amber stopped by to tell us that Ms. Janet got mad because Amber called the HUD lady last night. Then Brenda stopped by to ask to use the thermometer. Faithy is running a temperature so Brenda went home to give her some medicine. But at least Mommy got a little bit of a nap and I'm being good. She took some cold meds to help, plus another antibiotic, and throat spray so now she's feeling okay for a while. Hopefully Mommy won't be sick for very long.

Mommy says that you think you've got the same thing. Hope you don't feel too icky. Take some antibiotics and get some rest.

Love you both very much and lots of BIG THANK YOUS!

Hugs & Kisses

Elocin Nicole