Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you are dislexic, press 69696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Friday, September 28, 2007


So lets see if you can really blog from your email or if this is something stupid that will make monkeys fly out my ass when I push send.

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Sunshine said...

Did monkeys fly outta your ass?

Anonymous said...

Why yes it did work, so now what is your excuse for not blogging. I know Miss Puppy Chow, keeps you very busy in the evening, but I also know that T.A.A.T. does all the work at your job.. I also know you can get to your e-mail from your job.. so I'm thinking you totally screwed lazy blogging, monkey flying out of it,, ass on this one..

Love ya,,, Mom Mie

and by the way,, send Chris a get well note you little shit.. What kind of niece are you anyway???

You too Randomness