Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you are dislexic, press 69696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Happy Father's Day

Just thought I'd let you know there are a couple new pics up on Ellie's site. Make sure you scroll down to check out how she fell asleep the other night. Seriously, she screamed if I tried to move out of that position. I finally convinced her I could lean her against my legs, but she wouldn't let me move my hands from under her arms. YES!! SHE'S SPOILED!! But seriously, who wants to listen to her scream when all she wants is to be held?

Hope you enjoy. If you're Dad deserves it I hope you called (or at least sent a card)... if you're Dad's a JACKASS, I hope you got the chance to flip him off (or at least curse his name under your breath).

Have a great one!

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