Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you are dislexic, press 69696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Yes, I'm Alive

Yes, it's true. All is well here in OZ... unfortunately I haven't hadmuch time to keep you all informed of the news and updates. A little girl with an ear infection has been taking most of my time. Yes, Daddy has been doing his fair share, but when I've had a free moment, I've been socializing with my neighbors or catching up on some much needed sleep.

First things first. Since we all know you'd rather see more pictures of Ellie than read my ramblings. NEW PICS are now on Ellie's site. Some of them are from clear back in June. I posted them today with dates and later I'll go back and put them in June where they belong. The newest ones were taken today. She's been very cooperative this evening so I thought I'd snap some quick pics since Daddy had her dressed in my favorite onsie. So go get your BABY FIX!

Though these aren't nearly as good as my Mom's storm pics, this was the freaky storm that came through on July 12th. All was quiet and then suddenly the wind came up and BOOM! It was moving too quick to really do much (crossed the county in 30 minutes!) but there was some cool dipping and twisting in the clouds.

And for those of you who desperately need humor in your lives, here's my neighbor's 16-month-old daughter proving that NOT EVERYTHING IN KANSAS IS FLAT!!
Yes, we're just a bunch of Midwestern Misfits!! We're true Americans...
WHITE trash,
BLUE collar!!!

No comments: