Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you are dislexic, press 69696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Don't let her fool you!

My co-worker (CLICK HERE) is a LIAR!!!

That's right... don't believe a word she says!

She really killed the cat! Don't listen to a word she says. The cat died in the dryer. I don't beleve her, you shouldn't. It's a dead cat, she's just stalling trying to figure out how to tell the kids that the cat died in the dryer.

I think it's because she secretly hates cats.

I bet she did it on purpose!

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