Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you are dislexic, press 69696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Picture Challenge

Okay, so here's the challenge.
You pick an image search engine.  You can pick your own or use one of the ones listed below.
Now, you must answer the following questions and place the answer into the search.  Then you pick one of the pictures on the first page of results to represent your answer.  You can elaborate as I did if you like, but it isn't necessary.
1. Which search engine did you use?
Deviant Art
2. Age you will be on your next birthday? (if you don't want to disclose your age just put a picture)
3. Place you want to travel?
I've wanted to go here ever since I saw "Under the Tuscan Sun"  Everything looks so beautiful.
4. Favorite place to spend time?
5. Favorite object?
I'm a total purse addict.  After buying my latest bright orange purse, I had to endulge myself in my other addiction, new shoes.  I bought orange ones to match the purse of course!
6. Favorite food?
Can you go wrong with pasta?  I think not.  I want to know where I can get some of these heart shaped pastas.  They are absolutely fabulous!
7. Favorite animal?
The bigger, the better.  I love big dogs who insist on being big cudly lap dogs.
8. Favorite color?
Red and Black
9. Town you live in? (again, at least put a picture)
Don't know who's kid it is, but it was the most pleasing picture that appeared.  Kinda makes me think about running up behind him and scaring him though.  I'd pull him out after he fell in, but I'd being laughing so hard I'd probably pee!  Yeah, my kid is doomed to be traumatized.
10. Name of current or past pet?
11. Dream come true?
There is nothing more valuable than a life devoted to children.
12. Nickname or screen name?
Erato the Muse
13. Your middle name?
Nicole Kidman is a beautiful woman!
14. Favorite smell?
Rain and Alfalfa
There's the country girl popping out in me again!
15. Your bad habit?
As if smoking was classy like this.  Frankly, a tar-ridden lung didn't pop up in the search, so I chose a pretty picture.
16. First job you had?
Ranch hand
I worked on our ranch long before I ever went and got a "real" job.  And I might add that I worked harder on the ranch and enjoyed it more than I have any other job.
17. What is the weather right now?
It turned cool this evening, but today was quite pleasant compared to the crappy winter we've had.
18. Favorite sport to watch or play?
19. Favorite music (type, artist, whatever)?
Country Music
I love all kinds of music.  But I'll always be a country music fan at heart.
20. Deepest desire at this moment?
Own a home
Yeah, I know, that looks more like a shack, but that's probably all we could afford right now.  I'd still take it.  It can't be much worse than the apartment we live in.
Now challenge yourself to complete this task.  Don't forget to let me know if you did it so I can check you out!!
Have fun and enjoy!

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