Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you are dislexic, press 69696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Letters to the Editor

Every wanted to write a letter to that random jerk that cut you off on the freeway?

Here's the place to do it!

At the Blogville Daily Gazette we have no stipulations on what our Letter to the Editor might say. You can implicate anyone you feel like. You can say anything you want. We are so dedicated to voicing your distaste and resentment that we will publish any remark you feel fit! There are only two requirements:

  1. It must begin, "Dear (whoever you feel like)"
  2. You must sign it with a name. Doesn't have to be YOUR name. Just a name to link back to.

All letters will be posted in a timely manner (a.k.a. when I have TIME).

Karla's letters:

1 comment:

Pandora said...

Keep up the good work.