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Sunday, April 29, 2007

Prom 2007

Sunshine is hosting Prom 2007! Woohoo!

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Unfortunately for me, she has scheduled the prom date for May 8th. Since my due date is set for May 10th, I don't believe it would be wise for me to make tentative plans to actually attend Prom. (Especially since I believe my Mother had some strange dream about me falling on my pregnant ass while doing the disco!)
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So sadly, I will NOT be attending the festivities!
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NEVER FEAR!! I will be with you in spirit (unless of course I'm in labor and delivery screaming to Daddy Dearest that this is all his fault!!)
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So the prom festivities for 2007 include posting of old Prom photos, finding a prom date, remembering your favorite prom song, and digging up your old prom stories.
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When it comes to those old Prom photos, I know exactly where they are. Unfortunately, climbing up on a chair and digging a huge box of photos out of the top of the closet are not on the list of top 10 things a pregnant woman should do.

--;-<@Luckily, we have an alternative! I still have in my closet my prom dress from my senior year! Yes! It still fits! As a matter of fact, it still fit me when I was four-months pregnant. Not saying I was fat in high school, just that knit fabrics are very forgiving.

---;-<@So here you have it. My 1998 prom fantasmo made slightly more hilarious by the baby-belly I had around Christmas of last year (No, I was NOT pregnant for my senior prom!) This fabulous number was purchased at some trendy shop in the local mall. Totally psychodellic in nature, it is the exact opposite of what everyone would have expected me to wear. This number came complete with a matching jacket which I detest! I topped the number off with black 6-inch platform heels (shoes I absolutely adored until about a year later when I fell off them and broke the straps as opposed to my ankle).
---;-<@I can't say it was really a "hit" at the prom, but frankly, I didn't give a damn! I love this dress (still do when I'm in that funky-make-your-eyes-hurt sort of mood). I'm all about making statements and this one clearly says, "I think you people pop too much acid so now I'm going to fuck with your minds!" You really have to see this in the fabulousness of strobe lights to really get the full effect, but if you use your imagination, I'm sure you can appreciate its hideous nature!
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As far as the Prom date goes, I'm afraid I'd prove to be quite a wallflower if I was able to attend. Not one to be a drag on others (and not wanting to stand anyone up) I really don't think I'll be needing a date.
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As far as Prom songs go.
Let's see. I attended five proms in "Hickville, U.S.A" so you can bet that Garth Brook's "The Dance" was played at each of them.
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And when it comes to Prom stories...
Funniest Prom moment: Prom 1998.
---;-<@My Senior Prom was a riot. My date couldn't make it, I didn't care. I gave my date's glass to my Freshman girlfriend. I spent the entire night with my two freshman girls and their dates.
---;-<@We went to the After-Prom and had a blast. We waited around to catch breakfast before we headed home. Since my Mom had told us not to cruise around, we decided to stop at a laundry mat. Why? Well what else is there to do in a tiny town at 5 am? We washed our clothes of course!
---;-<@Somewhere in the archives of my misspent youth are photos of me and "Sassy Bear" sitting on a wash machine in leather pants, high heel shoes our bras and her boyfriend's neck tie with our arms around each other and cigarettes in our hands. This laundry mat had a huge picture window that faced out onto one of the main streets in town, but we didn't care in the slightest. We spent the better part of the morning racing around the room in laundry carts and crawling in and out of the washers and driers.
---;-<@At one point Sassy ran outside in her bra to see if there was something funny under the car (this is directly related to a radio commercial I heard earlier that night, and checking under the car became a major past time for well over a week).
---;-<@As far as our bra-parading escapade, it was brought to an abrupt end when it dawned on us that the police car that just drove by may have noticed two shirtless teenagers dancing around in the picture window of the laundry mat. Thankfully, the guys offered up their shirts until our shirts were ready to be removed from the drier.
---;-<@The events ended with a quick breakfast and a Dodge Ram truck (it was red) slamming into the back bumper of my Caddy after I dropped everyone off that morning. Luckily, the only damage was a cracked taillight and a startled teenage girl who was in desperate need of sleep.
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Thus ends my walk down memory lane. Now would someone please go check to see if there is anything funny under my car, because honestly, I'm too fat to do it myself this time (and I vaguely recall slamming my head in the car door not once, but twice when I attempted this on Prom night).
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COME! JOIN THE FESTIVITIES!! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO LAUGH AT THOSE OLD PHOTOS AND THE CRAZY SHIT YOU DID WHEN YOU WERE A TEENAGER!!

6 comments:

Sunshine said...

I will link up your prom story, best of luck with your delivery, I had a May 16th baby (way back when) and it was my super best labor and delivery out of all four kiddos.
Breatheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Ellie's Mommie said...

hehe hoo... hehe hoo... I'm just thankful I get to have my body back (slightly damaged, but solely mine) before the HEAT of summer really kicks in. I had fun remembering that old story. I bet my Mom's forgot all about it so she should get a good laugh. We'll see if she's brave enough to tell us anything about her Prom Days.

Ramblings from an Old Woman that lived in a shoe. said...

I just colored my hair to get rid of all the gray, you and Ace gave me. I do not need to be reminded of this shit. STOP IT NOW....

LOVES MOM MIE

UM, I'D TELL YOU ABOUT MY PROM IF I COULD REMEMBER. I REMEMBER THIS. WE CAME OFF DEMOCRATE HILL, HOME FROM THE DRIVE IN, WITH MY GIRLFRIEND STEERING. SHE WAS SOBER ENOUGH TO SEE. I WAS IN THE MIDDLE RUNNING THE GEARSHIFT AND TELLING HER WHEN TO CLUTCH. OK SO SUPER MOM HAD HER DAYS...
YES WE WERE SMOKING, YES THAT OLD DODGE DART HAD A FIFTH IN THE VENT DOOR AND A CARTON OF SMOKES IN THE OTHER VENT DOOR. YES WE WERE CRAZY.

Chris said...

hmmm...prom...I know where the pics are, the rest I'm going to have to think about. Gimme a break, I'm 40, my prom was

22.OH.MY.GOD.I'M.FUCKING.OLD.years ago

and my memory is slipping.

mjd said...

I love reading your post. Your Senior Prom was the best kind...one where you actually have fun. You look lovely in your prom dress. I wish you the best with the upcoming delivery. Maybe you can stop by the prom on your way to the hospital.

Tink said...

You could have your baby AT the prom! That would be a great story for the grandkids. ;)