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Friday, April 6, 2007

A Visit From the Home-Wrecker

Meet Leslie! When she first arrived at our campsite, we were more than happy to welcome her into our quaint family! One of my cousins found her hichhiking on the way to our gathering and invited her to come have a good time with the family. Being the hospitible bunch we are, we offered Leslie a beer and told her to make herself at home.

Leslie and my youngest sister quickly hit it of and began making quite a display of themselves at the community parade. Being a very open-minded group (and realizing that my sister is kinda nutty herself) we took this whole escapade with good humor.

However, things were about to take a turn for the worst. It seems that Leslie was out for a bit more than a cold beer and a few laughs. Just when we were starting to warm up to Leslie's quirky ways, we discovered her diabolical plan! Leslie was after the MEN!!

Her escapades began when she was found in a compromising pose with the husband of my cousin. Apparently, she asked him for a ride back from the parade and managed to convince him that this was the safest position for her to travel in.

A few firm words (and a couple of knots on the head) convinced him that Leslie had tricked him.

Her initial plan foiled, she quickly moved on to more helpless prey. That evening, Leslie was found sneaking into the tent of my unsuspecting uncle. Years of marriage and one too many drinks made him an easy target for her charms.

And only the best (a.k.a. drunkest) of friends would dare to help incriminate a man in such a way as this.

Of course, word travels fast in a small town and it wasn't long before my Aunt heard the news. Not one to sit idly by and let some roadside hussy steal her man, she quickly interviened!

The next day, having had her plans foiled once again, Leslie made a final attempt at yet another married man! However, she was not fully prepared for his resistance (a.k.a. fear of his wife).

By now, the women of the family had lost all sense of humor in this matter. It was apparent that something had to be done about this home-wrecking hussy! Scorned women throughout the campsite joined forces and sought to teach Leslie a lesson she would not soon forget!

The moral of the story is quite clear! We may be a bunch of Redneck drunks, but mess with our men and you will suffer the wrath!!

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