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And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Why I Married an Asshole!

I've decided that my marriage to my ex-husband WAS NOT a mistake!
Okay, it WAS a mistake, but it was a justified one!
Okay, so it WASN'T justified! I'm just making excuses!
That debate aside, there are perks to having a worthless ex-husband like mine. My favorite of these is my expanded wardrobe possibilities!
That's right ladies!
Other than the traditional,

"I still miss my ex, but my AIM is improving!"


"Not With Stupid Anymore!"

t-shirts, I have discovered there is a vast wardrobe of "EX" fashion statements out there!

There are various styles of

"Divorced and Loving It!"

Additionally you will find shirts that say:

The best thing my

husband ever gave

me was a DIVORCE


The plan is simple

like my ex-husband.
But UNLIKE my ex-husband,
0the plan might work!

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue
I'm still taking you to divorce court
You cheating lying usless PRICK
...screw you!

Happiness is

being an Ex-Wife

Better to lose a lover
than love a loser!


I love pigs so much,

I married one!


'Tis better to have loved and lost

than to have lived with that asshole
for the rest of your life.
Sex is overrated.
Just spend a couple of minutes
with my Ex-husband
and you'll agree!

Don't think of

it as divorcing...
think of it as a much
needed revision.
My divorce certificate
is so beautiful,
I think I'll frame it!


+ Ex-Husband
+ Shallow Grave
= Happy Ex-Wife

Dick Cheney,
Please take my Ex-husband hunting with you!
On top of those fabulous faves, there's a whole line of t-shirts devoted to "My Ex?"

My Ex? His favorite method of birth control? His personality!

My Ex? His best weight is 3 pounds (including the urn)

My Ex? He won't admit his age, or act it!

My Ex? He's all hat and no wand!
My Ex? He's an experiment in artificial stupidity.
As you can see the fashion possibilities are endless! DIVORCE is a wonderful thing!

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