Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.


If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you are dislexic, press 69696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Friday, April 20, 2007

The Alphabet Game

Wanna play? Check out the rules (and entries so far) here.

The letter "E"

Essay Explaining Evolution

Enter
Echoing erotic escapade ensues
Each extremely exciting embrace entices exhilarating effects
Ejaculation efforts embedded emerald embryo exactly
Extended elaborate expert examinations ensure exotic extraterrestrial exists
Everyone expresses extraordinary elation
Eventually environment eases establishing endearment
Excellent enthusiasm elevates enchantment
Easily evident expansion everywhere
Endless enlargement exhausts every experience
Everything evokes extreme emotions
Estrogen error escalates
Explosive eruptions evident every evening
Evidently eating everything edible endorses elephantitis
Excessive engorgement evokes empathetic exclamations everyday
Everlasting eras elapse
Estimated eviction eagerly expected
Everybody encourages early epidural elixir
Emergence expects excruciating elements
Enduring energy essentially employed expels Earthling
Expect exalting experience exceeding every elating enjoyable expectation
Exit

2 comments:

Ramblings from an Old Woman that lived in a shoe. said...

tHIS IS GREAT NOW IF N WILL TAKE I AND CHRIS WILL TAKE O WE CAN ALL WORK ON U M.D. TOOK Q

Chris said...

This is funny as hell. I finally got D up, and since I'm a glutton for punishment, I'm going to come back later & hope like hell someone else took "G".