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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

CODE BLACK!

In light of recent events it has come to my attention that some people in my family need a serious attitude adjustment! Since there are laws about beating up 70-year-old elderly individuals, my options at this point seem rather limited. However, being the resourceful young woman that I am, I have come up with several options that might get my point across without earning me a mug shot and orange jumpsuit!

1) Write a tactful letter that explains exactly what is going on and why it is so upsetting. Make sure that the letter contains no vulgar or malicious language. Sit back and hope the idiots can get the point.

2) Drop a postcard in the mail that says, "Glad you got the letter. Sorry you're an asshole. Got the message loud and clear. Will act accordingly in the future!"

3) Ignor the entire situation and let them read about their great-granddaughter's birth in their local newspaper!

4) Gather copies of all the pictures in my house that contain me and these people. Cut my face out of all the pictures. Mail the modified pictures to the assholes with a note that says, "You like playing games to hurt people? How do you like it when I play back?"

While the first option is obviously the most tactful choice, I'm not yet convinced that I will be satisfied with tactful. Currently, Option #4 seems to bring me the greatest amount of diabolical laughter (You probably don't think any of this is funny, but I'm a sick bitch and find it greatly entertaining!)

You may now place you votes for best option.
Write-ins and other comments are also acceptable!

4 comments:

Ramblings from an Old Woman that lived in a shoe. said...

Well, after the letter, their reaction, my reaction to their reaction, and their lack of actionto my reaction, I'm thinking they are just too stupid to worry about.

US, sent letter
THEM, Big red truck with angry man parks in my yard, unloads big red truck of all gifts ever given to them.
step three, told them that wasn't a good idea. high price to pay to be right
step four. I'm thinking should have been at least a phone call to you, but no..
STEP FIVE: HAVE CHRIS'S COMMENTS MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF.

Chris said...

I say we all gather, take up residency in a house directly across the street. Then, we sit on the front porch while toying with baseball bats, a lighter, a can marked GAS, while rubbing our hands together and laughing maniacally.

Hell, if that doesn't change their mind, maybe it will scare them enough to cause a stroke. Then you can seek revenge by putting them in a really bad nursing home where they have to be strapped to a wheelchair, play what's hiding in the depends, and wear idiot mittens for life.

Ok, so I really don't wish anyone a stroke, but I'm not kidding about the gas can thing. ;)

Ramblings from an Old Woman that lived in a shoe. said...

chris:
THAT'S FUNNIER THAN YOU THINK. THE HOUSE TWO DOORS DOWN IS FOR SALE.

PLUS, THE JOKE BETWEEN E.M. AND I HAS BEEN, I'M GOING TO OUT LIVE THE BROTHERS, THEN I'M GOING TO PUT THEM IN A NURSING HOME AND BUY THEM A TALKING BIRD THAT CAN ONLY SAY.

"YOU SHOULDA BEEN NICER YOU SHOULDA BEEN NICER YOU SHOULDA BEEN NICER"

YOU REALL DO BELONG IN THIS FAMILY

Chris said...

heh! Now that is funny! Great...or warped minds think alike. :)