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Tuesday, March 6, 2007

The Best (and Worst) of Daddy Dearest!

Yes, I have been blessed with the best Daddy-To-Be on the planet. Being the show-off that I am, I fully intend to prove it to you. Now I don't care if you're pregnant, trying to get pregnant, have already been pregnant, or never plan to get pregnant, if these aren't the sweetest things a guy can say, I don't know what else the guy could do to make you happy.

  • (on the phone) Can I get you anything on my way home?
  • It's cold outside, I'm going to go start your car while you finish getting ready.
  • Everything will be fine. You were born to do this!!
  • Thank you for carrying my baby!
    You shouldn't feel bad about being tired, you're growing a baby. YOU are the most important part!!

All you men out there should definately take a lesson from the above mentioned quotes. While these things are not very successful at getting Daddy Dearest laid (was that too much?) they do earn him a daily quota of "brownie points" which he hopes will add up and maybe he can collect on them at a later date when I feel more up to it (yes, too much! Sorry!).

However, let us keep in mind that even Daddy Dearest in NOT perfect!! He has those moments when his mind has wondered just far enough from him that he mistakenly believes that the words coming out of his mouth cannot get him fatally bludgeoned to death with the nearest solid object.

(while I'm admiring a tiny white swimsuit)

You've got a little weight to lose before we start buying bikinis again.

Immediately after the words left his mouth, Daddy Dearest was struck hard along the side of the head with the metal bikini rack. While he was on the ground pleading and holding his aching head, our shopping cart mysteriously rolled back and forth over his body until he lay trembling and whimpering. Doctors say that he should recover from his injuries in time to see his daughter be born, but to prevent any long-term damage, they insist that his jaw will have to remain wired shut until the day of the birth. Unfortunately, my back was turned at the time of the incidence, and I am simply not able to tell investigators what exactly took place. The middle-aged employee who was nearby when the statement about losing weight was made, told investigators that she too did not see a thing. Maybe Daddy Dearest will be able to tell us more when he fully recovers.

1 comment:

Ramblings from an Old Woman that lived in a shoe. said...

OMG
I laughed til I peed. I can just see this happening. Then i can see that all too famous inncent look you have when being questioned. Golf Cart, what golf cart officer...love mom mie