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Thursday, March 15, 2007

Think before you speak!

Things I've heard in the past 48 hours:

  • "You're looking very... pregnant!" -- hmmm... you look very... UGLY!!
  • "You look like you're ready to be done with this." -- No kidding? Actually, I was just starting to enjoy myself! I thought I might put off delivering her until next year!
  • "Goodness! You just keep getting bigger!" -- I'm pregnant... What's you excuse?
  • "You're starting to walk differently. Are you starting to feel it?" -- I hardly noticed I was carrying around a 25 pound basketball on my stomach! Think about that question the next time someone asks you to move their television. Then imagine walking around all day carrying that television because they can't decide where they want you to sit it down at!
  • "Haven't you had that baby yet?" -- Yes! But I decided I enjoy looking like a hippo and not seeing my feet, so I had fat implants added in all the right places!

The next time you want to make a comment to a pregnant woman you need to think about a few things:

  • Imagine you've been walking around for the past few months carrying an awkward box and every week, someone adds a few more items to the box but never lets you put it down to rest.
  • Then imagine that you still have to get dressed, go to work, function normally, and sleep while holding onto that box.
  • Now picture how wonderful it is to hear people tell you everyday just how tired or fat you look.
  • Then assume that you are a woman who has had a horrible day AND is on the worst day of her period with raging hormones and homocidal tendancies.
  • Once you have pictured the above scenerio, think very carefully about the words that are about to exit your mouth. If you believe that you could calmly smile and continue on your day, feel free to risk speaking your mind. However, having pictured the above situation, if you think there is the slightest chance that hearing what you have to say might inspire you to purchase a handgun and let the whole world know just how you feel, it might be best to simply smile and move on.

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