Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press.

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If you are dislexic, press 69696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Friday, March 2, 2007

Game #8: Best Wishes For Baby

This is the last one!!

Real simple, just answer the questions.

  1. Favorite lullabye
  2. Favorite children's story
  3. Favorite nursery rhyme
  4. Favorite children's song
  5. Best baby toy
  6. One item every mother needs
  7. Most useless baby item
  8. One piece of advice for Labor & Delivery
  9. One piece of advice for the new Mommy
  10. One piece of advice for the new Daddy
  11. One parenting tip
  12. One parenting "No-no"
  13. Anything else you'd like to add


Crazy Ace said...

1. Hush Little Baby
2. Hansel&Gretel
3. 3 Blind Mice
4. 99 Bottles of Beer
5. Your Car Keys
6. A Swing
7. Baby shoes Before They Can Walk
8. Take The Drugs
9. Go with your gut instinct
Don't be afraid to ask your mom
for help or advise(you don't
HAVE to take it)
10. Keep mommy Happy/Change a disper
11. baby will Not Brake, Play with
12. Don't always run for baby when
13. What you do to baby today may
effect the teenager of tomarrow

Anonymous said...

1. Hush little baby
2. Goldilocks
3. Little Miss Muffet
4. Ring around the rosie
5. A rattle
6. A boppy
7. That tub that you posted about.
8. Breath/ Listen to Daddy Breath
9. Relax, You will do fine
10. I'm thinking I'm sticking with Steer clear of the delivery room
11. All parents are scared, she will teach you.
12. little people have big ears, and they will repeat it.
13. No parent is perfect. You will make mistakes. Don't let it get the best of you. Simply chalk it up to the learning curve and move on. Enjoy her, soon she will be grown up and moved to another state making you a grandma.