Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.


If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you are dislexic, press 69696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Nighty Night

Me: Mommy's tired.
Daddy: Then Mommy should go to bed.
Me: I'm going to. And I'm taking the baby with me.
Daddy: (wrapping arms around my belly) Nope! I wanna keep the baby tonight!
Me: (staring speechless)
Daddy: (laughing at expression on my face)
Me: Well... um... hmm... let's see if we can figure this one out.
Daddy: (grinning)
Me: Nope. Sorry, I've got nothing.
Daddy: (kissing belly) Fine then, just take her to bed with you.
---------------------------------------------------------------
A few nights ago

Daddy: (kissing me) Goodnight Princess 2! (kissing belly) Goodnight Princess 1!
Me: Hey! Wait a minute! Why does she get to be Princess 1? I was here first!!
Daddy: (kissing belly again) Well, because she's cuter!
Me: (pretending to be mad) *hmph!*
Daddy: Goodnight sweetheart! I love you!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well you will ALWAYS be PRINCESS 1 TO DAD AND ME.... well, unless Ellie is here, then we might have to rethink it..No No You're Princess 1....whispers to baby, "Ellie, Grandma lies." loves MOM MIE