Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.


If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you are dislexic, press 69696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

All Points Bulletin

Missing: One Crazy Cousin!!

Last seen on Tuesday right before an episode of HOUSE!

Family & friends are greatly concerned that she may have fallen out into the "real" world. Blogland will not be the same until she is safely returned.

Authorities are investigating many possible scenerios.
Family fears that HOUSE withdrawl may have gotten the better of her 5 seconds before the episode aired. They are greatly concerned that she might have thrown herself at the mercy of the TROLLS!!

A search of all area blogs has returned no leads.

If you or someone you know has any information regarding the whereabouts of this missing blogger, please report it to the Blogland Police Department. It is vital that we find this Crazy Cousin before she becomes too wrapped up in the "real" world to take the time to blog for us!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG THIS SHOULD BRING HER BACK TO BLOG LAND KICKING AND SCREAMING. I HAVE BEEN SAVING SOME OF THE OLDER BLOGS IN CASE WE HAVE TO PAY A BLOG RANSOM FOR HER.

Randomness said...

NEWS FLASH I AM BACK... HE HE HE