Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you are dislexic, press 69696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Cheap Entertainment

Okay, so it's obvious by now that I am easily entertained by the simplest things.

Quick Fact: Yesterday I got my mother & my cousin to sign up for AdSense ads on their blogspot sites so that when I'm bored I can click their ads and have the satisfaction that I'm making money for the people I love. It's not much, but the ads don't take up much space so we figure we'll give it a shot. (If you're interested, there's a link under my "Google Tools" section that will let you sign up and waste away your life too!)

Anyway, today I went to their sites and checked out their ads. And what I found has amused me to no end. AdSense is designed to give you advertisements that are targeted to the content of your site (you'll notice that mine are usually pregnancy related). However, as my family's sites have not been up for very long, Adsense has not yet "learned" very much about their sites.

Therein lies the humor.

My mother's site had an advertisement today titled "God - Total Union with God" I about died. Anyone who knows my mother very well knows that she is as close to "Anti-Christian" as it comes. It's not that she has a problem with God, just that she has a problem with the way most people present their God and she just doesn't want you telling her that she's wrong because your invisible man in the sky says so.

As for my cousin's site. It was proudly sporting a "Dead Animal Removal" ad. This is only funny to me because I am well aware of her problems with rodent control and how much she truly despises mice and other rodents.

Yes, I realize that some may not see the humor in this sort of stuff, but as I said before, "I am easily entertained!"

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