Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you are dislexic, press 69696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Friday, February 16, 2007

Personality Profile

I just took a survey with a site that pays me to participate. Unfortunately, I cannot refer you to this site because it requires that the company invite you to participate.

If you ever get an opportunity to join "Knowledge Networks" (and you don't mind wasting 5-10 minutes every so often) I recommend it. It's not a huge money maker, I've been a member of their program since 2004 and only redeemed $150, but this latest survey was very interesting. It was a personality profile that took about 5 minutes to complete. I must say it was eerily accurate. However, they do not spam your email or provide your personal information. You recieve the equivilent of $1 per survey (at least), even if you do not qualify to participate.

Anway, back to my personality profile. Here is what it said about me.

Great possibilities with insight and long-range vision are identified by this profile. They represent the modern day philosophers, like Aristotle, Plato, and Socrates, waxing eloquently with metaphors, synonyms, and antonyms. They often deal with philosophical and theoretical aspects of ideas and develop them to fit the current situation. They have a natural gift for expressing ideas, whether written or oral. They like to concentrate on a project and dislike all of the details not relevant to the subject. They can be quite enthusiastic and persuasive on their chosen subject especially when writing about it. They can be ingenious at creating unpredictable combinations of harmony and beauty, using colorful words, and integrating feelings into their plans.

Composers are not technically oriented or mechanically inclined, but rather are interested in the human aspects of how people work. Learning seems to be easy when the subject matter is presented as either abstract or as examples of use in context. They organize information into useable formats as well as other potential combinations. They enjoy exploring many possibilities. They are direct communicators, but will also use symbolism or metaphoric language in different situations.

They are very curious about new ideas and make excellent students as they readily take in text and languages. They like to work on large, independent projects on their own and somehow get them finished, but not always on time. They are often so absorbed in their efforts that they do not notice that they may appear to be unsociable. Actually, they are quite warm, friendly, and make excellent, loyal friends. They like to be social creatures and crave the approval of others.

They have a creative and artistic way with words that are filled with emotions. They like to use their words in one-on-one discussions rather than group discussions. They enjoy and like to interact with people. They want to have such a profound effect on people that they can influence those they work with make to changes in life. Composers make excellent social workers.

Composers procrastinate and do not make decisions quickly. They want to think about all of the ramifications of a decision. They tend to shy away from corporate procedures and structure, as they require some latitude to be spontaneous and develop their special and unusual correlations. Cleaning their messy environments is not a high priority as they look for ways to allow for abstract ideas to flow.

This profile likes time to reflect and does not like the busy, fast-paced world. Their unassertive style is portrayed by a low energy level, which serves them well when patiently dealing with people. They are very patient with people and tend not to be judgmental of others' actions. They expect their results to be in the future rather than immediately.

They are not usually athletically inclined and avoid sports. They are interested in the human side of sports and want to know about the players' backgrounds.

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