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Thursday, February 8, 2007

The Tragic Fate of Wiley

If you've never seen what passes for a zoo in a small midwestern town, you are definately missing out. To say the least, the facility we drove through today could be compared to the Alcatraz of the Animal Kindom. The free-admission zoo in this tiny little town makes you contemplate what crimes these animals must have committed to be sentenced to a life of incarceration in a Midwest community.
I must admit that the small boring cages might tug at the heart strings of some animal lovers, but I rather like to think that the animals were probably rescued from places that were far worse than their current homes.
While driving along the parkway that passes near the walking area (it was too damn cold to actually walk through the "zoo") one particular cage caught my attention. Behind the large wire silo which house a seemingly comatose monkey, stuffed between a daydreaming bobcat and another unseen creature was a lone coyote.
Why, might you ask, would a common coyote in a pen pose any interest to a native farm girl? Well, frankly, he was seriously distraught!
Wiley coyote was repeatedly circling around his cage in the most monotonous manner I have ever seen. While I must sypathize slightly with his utter boredom, I couldn't help but contemplate what must be going through his mind.
"Bored. Bored. So bored. God I'm bored. I see wire. Yep, more wire. What's with all the wire? Bored! Wonder if I can dig out! Dirt. Dirt. Dirt! SHIT! CONCRETE! Damn, I broke a nail! Bored! Gotta get out! Gotta get free! BORED! Jesus Christ I'm bored! FUCK! I'm so BORED! I think I've been here before! Yep, passed that corner a few seconds ago! BORED! Please, just shoot me! Can't you see I'm bored? Bored!"
By the time we pulled away far enough that I could no longer see the unfortunate prisoner, I was laughing so hard I could hardly breathe.
While I'm sure there are those out there who will not find the humor in this, I must say, it was absolutely hilarious. It could definately fall under one of those things that you just had to SEE!
A quick aside, if you think I'm cruel because I'm laughing at the "poor unfortunate creature" please understand that a small part of me did feel sorry for him. But a larger part of me knows exactly what a coyote will do to a small newborn calf. This larger part of me cannot get over the humor of
"Bored. Bored. God I am so fucking bored! Think I'll circle the cage again. Yep, same as it was a few seconds ago. Still BORED!"

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