Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you are dislexic, press 69696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

This is a Fun Game!!

Wanna know what the weather is like where I am? Check out The Weather Channel.

Wanna gossip about the locals? Write your own blog.

Wanna whine about your problems? Take a number.

Wanna catch up on how your relatives are doing? Try calling them.

Wanna pretend there isn't a problem? Keep pretending I don't notice!

Wanna blame my hormones? See if my opinions change once she gets here!

Wanna keep playing games? Fine by me, I'm just starting to break in the ball bat!

Wanna play nice with me? Might take a little growing up on your part

Wanna know what this is all about? You're so smart, you should be able to figure it out.

Think your good at Leap Frog? I'm an expert at Keep Away!!

Note: For a moment I forgot that people who don't know my messed up family really do read my posts on occasion. In which case this post probably confuses the heck out of you. Briefly put, it's a family drama involving an individual who thinks she can be best buddies with me (and the baby) while eliminating my parents from her life. The only reason it's posted here is to humor my online family. Hope that clears things up!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OMG, You are good child. Damn you were paying attention all those years. Put her in coach, she's ready to play.
love MOM MIE