Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.


If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you are dislexic, press 69696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Flatlined


Since my brain is currently running on "flat-line" (exhausted from my bath) this just seems like a good thing to do to pass the time between now and bedtime.


  1. What time did you get up this morning? Noon... only because the tennisball sized knot in my back insisted that there was no way it would allow me to sleep one minute longer.

  2. Diamonds or Pearls? In a heartbeat... DIAMONDS! The next guy who asks me my ring size will get a resounding "one carat or larger!"

  3. What was the last movie you saw at the cinema? Epic Movie, and I must say it was quite romantic. Not the movie, but the fact that we had the entire theater to ourselves on Valentine's Day. At one point I kicked my feet up and stretched out across three seats. What more could a pregnant woman want?

  4. What's your favorite TV show? Hands down it's "House". Hugh Laurie is captivatingly hilarious and sarcastic.

  5. What did you eat for breakfast? Spaghetti O's... hey, it was noon & I'm pregnant... anything goes!

  6. What foods do you dislike? lima beans, sushi, blue cheese dressing

  7. Your favorite potato chip? Sunchips

  8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I don't usually listen to CD's (all my music is on the PC) but today I dug out a burned Avril Lavigne CD just so I could blare it on the surround sound and piss the neighbors off (that's what happens when you turn your music up loud enough to wake the pregnant chick from her much need afternoon nap!)

  9. What kind of car do you drive? A red 1991 Oldsomobile Eighty-eight that Grandpa bought for the baby (it's on loan to me until she gets her own license)

  10. Favorite sandwich? Salami and cheese on whole wheat bread

  11. What characteristics do you despise? arogance, self-pity, laziness, and dishonesty

  12. What are your favorite clothes? lately it happens to be anything that doesn't make me look like a hippo in a shower curtain... but usually it's just jeans and a t-shirt. I am however, known to dress up for no particular reason (a girl just needs to feel pretty sometimes!)

  13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Italy... I've fallen in love with it ever since I watched some romantic drama about a divorced woman who buys a house in Tuscany (the name of the movie has slipped my mind at the moment, but I shall feel no shame!)

  14. What color is your bathroom? cream with Poker decor (yes, Daddy dearest got to decorate the bathroom)

  15. Favorite brand of clothing? Are you kidding me? Everything I wear these days says "mommy", "expecting", or "soon to be" on the tags! When I'm not in a state of "knocked-upness" I tend to buy whatever is cheap and cute!

  16. Favorite time of day? Evenings - I'm more likely to stay up too late than wake up early.

  17. Where would you want to retire to? A nice farm in the middle of nowhere where the nearest neighbor is a mile or more away.

  18. Favorite sport to watch? not really a sports fan, but I've been known to catch a NASCAR race here and there, I enjoy watching the bull riding from time to time, and I can vaguely recall a heated match of soccor that caught my attention as I channel surfed.

  19. Coke or Pepsi? I'm a coke girl! Even better if you can spice it up with my good friend Captain Morgan.

  20. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Pretty sure I addressed this in #16... I don't even think I qualify as a human being before 11 am.

  21. Any new or exciting news that you'd like to share? Why yes, thanks for asking... I managed to shave my legs this evening and I must say, "That is quite an accomplishment for someone in my current state!"

  22. What did you want to be when you were little? I wanted to be a veterinarian until I was a Junior in high school. Then I decided that I liked animals a hell of a lot more than I liked most people and I would be totally devistated if I had to watch one suffer and know there was nothing I could do to help them. So then I decided to be a psychologist in the hopes that I would figure out why I am so "messed up" in the head. Now days, I have decided that all I really want to be is happy and a good Mom. Someday, I'll decide what I want to do when I grow up, in the mean time, I'm pretty satisfied with who I am.

  23. What is your best childhood memory? Working cattle with Dad. "Serious moments" with Mom. Hanging out with my best friend or my favorite cousin. And an awesome trip to Chicago (16 and unsupervised!)

  24. Nicknames? Curtain Climber, Bubba, Kiddo, Punky, K-Ore, and the everlasting "Willie"

  25. Piercings? Just my ears. Though my mother suggested a while back that my bellybutton would look cute pierced (thank goodness I never listen to her or else I'd have a basketball with a tow hitch right now!)

  26. Eye color? bluish grey with a strange yellowish color in the middle.

  27. Favorite day of the week? Saturday... the work week is behind me and there's still a little weekend to spare.

  28. Favorite resteraunt? locally it's Carlos O'Kelleys because I'm a sucker for good Mexican food... but Kansas City has a Margaritas which is like HEAVEN!! Of course I'm always up for a good steak-house too.

  29. Favorite ice-cream? Usually I prefer sherbert because it is much kinder to my stomach, however, I have a terrible weakness for Ben & Jerry's Half Baked. Cookie dough & brownie bites in chocolate icecream... GENIUS!

  30. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Don't have a credit card, would not really be too keen on maxing it out if I did... however, I wouldn't mind maxing out a stranger's credit card in Hobby Lobby, Best Buy, or T.J.Max

  31. Bedtime? Whenever my bladder, my legs, my head, and the baby can all come to agreement that it is time to let Mommy sleep. Unfortunately, that usually ends up being about midnight or 1 am.

  32. What are you listening to right now? The aquarium beside the desk, the fan in the bedroom, and the various voices fighting for control of my brain!

  33. How many tattoos do you have? None... I really want one though. Something tasteful and easily covered. Problem being is that now that I'm grown and can afford it, I'm affraid my pain tolerance might not be what it used to be. I've considered getting one right after this little girl arrives. Certainly a tattoo has to pale in comparison to giving birth.

  34. Next film you'll see? There's a whole slew of them I'd like to see, but we rarely make it out to the theater these days. Since we tend to opt for horror or comedies, I'd have to guess either "The Messengers" if we go out in the near future... or "Reno 911" which looks stupidly hilarious.

  35. Tag anyone. okay, Anyone is free to consider themselves tagged so long as they leave me a comment so I know they were here!

2 comments:

noelle said...

Wow, I wish I had as much free time as you. But I do like the fact that I was mentioned in this...it was the highlight of my day.

Mom Mie said...

Shall I never live down "serious moments"?
Just look at the word. moments.. it's when MOM MEANT to ground you girls.
IT'S REALLY NOT MY FAULT, HOW COULD I EVER GET MAD? I WAS BUSY TRYING NOT TO PEE MY PANTS WHILE YOU WHERE EXPLAINING YOUR MIS-DEEDS.