Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer you.

If you are dislexic, press 69696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.

And if you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy for your shit!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Crumple vs.Fold

Sesame Street now presents:

Another Random Conversation!

Scene: Me & Daddy Dearest in the bathroom (him using the mirror & me using the facilities - sorry if that's too much)

Me: *out of the blue* So, do you crumple or do you fold?
Daddy: Fold
Me: Me too *folding*
Daddy: F#@% CRUMPLES!! Crumples cause mistakes!!!
Me: *hysterical laughter*

This conversation was brought to you by the letters
T and P.

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