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Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Properly prepared pregnant woman!

Okay, so I've passed a threshold in this pregnancy. You no longer have to wonder whether I've put on a few pounds or if I'm actually pregnant. There is no doubt in anyone's mind that this large protrussion from my abdomen is a child growing inside me.

So I find myself holding back my sarcasm & avoid responding with comments like "No, I'm not pregnant! I just swallowed a watermelon seed!"

I have, as a result, become the greatest amusement to both of my female co-workers now. From teasing remarks about how well I waddle my way down the hall, to comments about how the little bumps and jolts from my little one only get worse, I find myself the center of attention more often than I might like.

One of my co-workers knows full well that I value my personal space but loves nothing more than to feel a baby kick. At one point today she asked if the baby was kicking still, to which I responded, "No, she's finally decided to lay off!" At which point she grinned and proceeded to inform me that was too bad, because she was considering assaulting me.

The subject of discussion today (as it so often is) was about what I could expect in the near future. I was informed that people will stop asking me if I'm pregnant & when I'm due, only to make comments like, "Haven't you had that baby yet?"

We proceeded to list a variety of sarcastic remarks to say in return to this obviously ridiculous question.

1) Yes, but I thought pregnancy was so fitting on me that I thought I'd keep the look.
2) Well of course I did! We're pregnant AGAIN!
3) Well sure, they were twins! I had one 2 weeks ago & now we're waiting on the other one.
4) No, I decided that labor just didn't fit into my schedule yet so we're holding off on the baby.
5) Nah, we've got this one on lay-away. We're still making payments!
6) Nope, still waiting on a permission slip from my Mom!

So I'm loading myself full of sarcastic ammunition. Non-pregos beware! I'm fully armed!

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