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Monday, February 5, 2007

Train of Thought De-railed

Sometimes I wonder where my train of thought goes when I'm at a total loss for words. I swear, I can sit here trying to come up with something to write about to no avail. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, I'll be inspired by the most unusual of topics.

Do you ever remember watching
"Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" as a child? That's exactly what I think about when I picture my own "train of thought." I picture the Trolley that goes through Mr. Rogers house and then disappears off into the Neighborhood of Make-Believe I'm not really certain of what goes on in the parallel environment my mind escapes to because, unlike Mr. Rogers, I am not privy to the comings and goings of the Neighborhood of Make-Believe. All I know is that when my mind finally returns from this unscheduled "vacation" I am immediately flooded with the most absurd thoughts and ideas.

For example, do animals have moments, like humans, where they have totally irrational thoughts that make utterly no sense? Honestly, does my mother’s dog lay on her pillow in the living room and stare at the ceiling for hours wondering, “I can’t remember where I left that yellow ball. Someday when she’s not looking I’ll get that squirrel. How many feathers does a turkey really have? Oh my goodness! Where did my cat go?”

Does a cat pace back and forth along the edge of the couch thinking, “If only I’d skipped that tuna. I can’t believe how fat my behind has gotten. What will all the neighbor cats think? Oh, I just can’t bear to go near the window like this! What if someone sees me?”

It’s just strange the way my mind functions, or in some cases refuses to function at times. I find myself having to stop and think about how old I am. For the life of me, I can never remember my sisters’ ages. I have absolutely no idea why I left my car keys in my coffee cup for several days before I found them.

And yet, I can easily recall the most mundane facts without any difficulty. I can still recall the first part pneumonic device I used to remember the U.S. presidents when I was a senior in high school – Wash the Ad that makes Jeff Mad on Monday. I can remember the order in which
our school bus picked up all of the students, even recalling each of their names. To this day I can still tell you the full names of all the men I’ve dated, including the names of their parents, siblings, other relatives and the birthdays of most of them.

Yet, for the life of me, I cannot remember what I did with the envelope containing my W-2. I remember getting it quite early in the year and thinking, “This is a logical place!” I remember setting it there until the other two W-2’s had arrived and I could file my taxes. Now, I am unable t0 find that stupid envelope to save my life. No doubt the trolley has carried it off to the Neighborhood of Make-Believe and I will only discover its whereabouts when it is good and ready to return to me.

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